I think for a lot of women in their late teens and early twenties, the occasional 'identity crisis' is normal. At this age, it's expected for you to experiment and try new things, new looks, new lifestyles all while having an idea in mind of who you want to be. We often try to attain these ideals through our experiments, but are left feeling more confused than before.
We're always told by the media what looks good and what doesn't, what beauty is and what the current trends are so understandably it's a difficult decision when it comes to deciding what we really want to be like.
I've been mulling this over a lot lately so bare with me if this is a ramble! I think who you really are, at your core, underneath any make-up and Instagram highlight-reel stems from your morals and beliefs. These change as you grow older- I doubt you still have the exact same beliefs and ideals that you had when you were twelve, right? Coming to terms with change as a constant and the fact that you will never really just be someone is one of the most important things in this sense.
"You are a mixture of everyone and everything you've ever come across".
I don't mean that in a negative way, like "you'll never be a somebody", you will, you are. But what we need to understand to become who we truly are at our core is that our core and self is always changing!
Say you're a rock in a river (lol). As the water washes over your for years, your shape begins to change and your place in the stream of the river changes too. Say this is you. You're always yourself, that rock, but as you experience more of life, change shape (mentally or physically) you're different. Change is not always a bad thing, just another building block in your personality. You're not supposed to fit anywhere in particular in that stream, or society, but where you land will always develop you.
I love the saying "You are a mixture of everyone and everything you've ever come across". To me this means that everything I read, learn about or everyone I meet is also a tiny building block in my sense of self. My morals come from what I've learned, how I've thought about these things and where I've decided to stand on matters that are sometimes out of my control. There will come times when you're perfectly content with who and where you are, and times when you aren't- this is really important to remember. Make the most of the times when you're super happy and when you aren't, think about the next steps you can take.
credit - Marion Deuchars |
Life isn't all about living up to beauty industry standards, despite what Instagram and Glamour and Vogue etc etc tell you you believe- it's about the sh*t that fundamentally makes you, you. Without your thoughts you are nothing!
Growing into your own skin is partly about discarding what anybody else thinks of you (this is super difficult at the start) and just doing you. Do what feels good for you at the time and you'll realise what matters to you the most. If you want to start wearing less make-up, do it. If you feel like dying your hair blue feels more you, then totally go for it.
I spoke in my post about tattoos on how putting these pictures on the outside of my body makes me look how I feel on the inside and the same goes for anything appearance-wise. Don't think that because you look or act differently that different is bad, it isn't. I think that the more you start to do things solely because you love to do them, who you are becomes stronger.
Throughout your whole life you have permission to change, adapt and learn new things. It's what matters to YOU that changes you. :)
I'm still learning this myself and changing everyday, but each day becoming more content with who I am.
I'm still learning this myself and changing everyday, but each day becoming more content with who I am.
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